Relate with the Mountain

Relate with the Mountain!

A people relations tool

 

We relate to the mountain as a large mass rising above the horizon. It fills our sight with what it wants us to see. Many mountains are beautiful and magnificent. They are a towering delight of attractions that create strong emotions in us. We identify with what we see and describe the mountain mainly by our sight.

 

What we do not always appreciate is that the mountain is more than what we see. The mountain allows us to see only 1/3 of it whole being. The mountain makes visible only a third of its being. The other two thirds of the mountain is hidden beneath the surface; inaccessible. So long as what we see is pleasant, acceptable and compliant, we have no need to investigate what is below the surface. However if we want to understand the mountain we must find out what lies beneath.

 

Many human relationships are similar to the way we relate to a mountain. Distant, impersonal, professional and predictable. We like what we see or don't like what we see and we relate to the basis of what we see. When the mountain behaves differently from what we know we become confused and realize we don't understand the mountain

 

 

 

Questions to help participants process the picture

1.       How do you relate with a mountain? (distant, beautiful, visual…)

2.       How can you tell the difference between a mountain and a volcano (what beneath or what erupts)

3.       Which things most affect the way we relate; the visible of the Hidden (Hidden)

4.       What does this tell us about the quality of our relationships (generally poor)

5.       What must we do in order to understand  one another better (unearth hidden)

6.       Is it possible to relate "well" without understanding one another (yes; by pretence)

7.       What skills do we need to relate to the mountain?

Conclusion

Poor relationships are generally shallow and in normal circumstances it is important to take more interest in people and people's inner concerns in order to understand them better. These hidden issues remain non issues until they become negative. If not addressed these issues develop and turn the mountain into a volcano.

 

The Volcano

The volcano is a mountain. The only difference is its interior turmoil which eventually finds its way to the surface

 

 

 

So long as the volcano does not erupt, we tend to treat it as a mountain. We will continue to treat people the same way until they erupt then we are forced to reconsider our evaluation of the mountain and decide how we will address the mountain, or if you like, volcano. However to do this we need specific skills otherwise we will react in kind by hitting back and fueling the conflict and postponing reconciliation.

 

Reconciliation after an eruption calls for courage maturity and a will to be reconciled. The individual must accept responsibility for mending the situation.

Reconciliation and healing follows;

 

1. Understanding the full person. What they are feeling going through and their hidden thoughts
2. We must allow for acknowledging and processing the outburst as well as accepting responsibility
3. Identify with individual needs and affirm the person.
4. Respond positively and reach out to the other person.

 

There are no guarantees that reconciliation will be immediate. But if it is persistent, in good faith and well intentioned, it will time wear out relational resistance and rebellion and inspire reconciliation. By settling the hidden issues of the volcano we can go back to relating to a mountain we understand.