Dealing with failure

I recently had a chance to talk to a young man who had failed his exams. The lad was devastated. His world had collapsed around him. He felt he could not face his friends and withdrew into a self-imposed house arrest. I thought to speak to him but wondered what I would say… in such situations and at such times you try to pull something out from the heart because that where it hurts most and where the healing starts…

 I, like you, have failed miserably in the past. And wished that I was more successful, more careful, more diligent, more... But life is not about failure, it is about failing many times over… and coming back again and again. It is good to mourn, cry and weep. But you eventually must come back, get out of the house and go on. Godfrey Okongo subtitles his book (Dealing with your failures) "your stepping stones to growth & success".  There is a lesson there for all of us. Don't let failure keep you down.

Here is the rub. If you have the guts to face failure you will be called courageous, if you try again you will be called persistent and determined. And when you win it will be "against all odds" and you will make another person like me believe that I can make it too. Many good things can come out of failure like character, but the first to come out of it must be you.

Allan Bukusi